Baby Goes to College

My baby is officially "on her own" as of last Thursday. She and her sister went over to KSU in the morning to get familiar with the campus and Jerry, Ashton and I met up with them after Staci's job orientation. After we hauled her stuff up to her dorm room, and hauled some back to the car since it didn't fit on the very limited floor space, we went out for dinner at Famous Daves. Then back to West Hall to watch her put her stuff away and procrastinate saying goodbye. When we did say a quick tearful goodbye, the 4 of us went down to the car and as we strapped Ashton into his carseat he said "Staci, Staci?"

I might not have wept if not for that innocent question that implied "Aren't we missing/forgetting Staci?"

I don't know how to describe these feelings, but probably will always remember them regardless. The summer has been bittersweet, with all of us knowing that the day would come when she would be at college and our family dynamics would be forever changed. We will all miss the familiar times hanging out together, playing Phase 10, eating dinner, watching a movie, boating, working out at the gym, playing tennis, having lunch with Gram or going to their house for dinner. Just the day to day stuff of family life. I even miss having her by my side to do dishes together - often my time to catch up on what's going on in her world. And I know that if I am missing sharing all of these things with her, she will feel all of that and so much more, since she is in a new environment, getting used to all new people and places and responsibilities. But I know she's up for it. Deep inside I know that she will be OK. She has always been a homebody, but she likes to have people to go and do things with. And she has amazed me the past 2 years of high school with her social skills. I know she will take advantage of the many social "offerings" of college life. So she will find a new familiar and be happy. And while that is my desire for her, it feels so strange to be able to let go of the past so that she can reach for the future. Well, I guess that's her job. Mine is just to support her and encourage her in letting go and reaching. And truely, I am excited to see what is next for her. I know that just as soon as I can get my mind around the idea of her leaving the nest, I will enjoy watching her soar.

I am thankful for the prayer time we had the night before she left home. How sweet to hear Shayla pouring out her heart's desire for her baby sister. That she would become the woman God wants her to be. That God would protect her from the "bad boys" and even praying for Staci's future husband's purity. My prayer was for her and Savannah to really hit it off and be good for each other - that they would have a great friendship and help each other be accountable. I also pray that as Staci enters the college classes that are taught from a secular worldview, she will be wise to recognize those ideas that may not be truth. That she will be on guard and discerning. That the challenge will strengthen her faith and knowledge of God's word, rather than destroy it.

Today was her first day of classes and the job in "The Derb" working on the trayline. When we last spoke yesterday, I asked her if I should call again or let her. She (tearfully, I think) suggested that I let her get settled and she would call. So, that's good. I am so proud of her.

And boy am I thankful that Shay's family is living here and we have each other through this transition.