Doing Time

8 months after leaving SFBC, I am back working, this time at the Topeka Correctional Facility (TCF) While I never would have guessed (or chosen) this would be the path for me at this time, I have no doubt that it IS God's chosen path for me. There have been numerous signs and roadblocks (sometimes even stopsticks!)that have led me here.

Opportunities for CNMs in this part of the country are few and far between, especially for those who have royally pissed off the medical community by running a much sought after homebirth service. So, I've had plenty of time to consider options and listen for direction. During my 8 month "time out" I have worked on forgiving those I have felt bitter towards, realizing that my true identity has nothing to do with being a midwife and everything to do with being the daughter of an all loving, all knowing, all powerful God.

After 3 days of new employee orientation at TCF my head is swimming with the world of corrections. It is indeed a world unto itself, with a unique body of knowledge, terminology, and even a humor which those in the industry use to difuse the stress and probably often feelings of hopelessness of the work. I find myself wondering why, as a 47 year old woman, am I trying to enter such a domain. It is so foreign that I realize that there really is no explanation other than this is God's doing, not mine.

Because of that, I know that He has a purpose for me being there. I will be challenged to find a way to perform my duties in such a way that I can on the one hand show the love of Christ, but on the other hand, avoid the ultimate mistake of "undue familiarity". The concept of UF has been drilled into us this week as anything that would be construed as being too friendly/familiar such that an inmate would sense any kind of favoritism as this puts them in a position to blackmail staff. (And get them fired and even charged with a FELONY, resulting in staff person not working at TCF, but living there!) That's it in a nutshell. I have been duly warned and am a true believer that I must be vigalent in this regard. At first I honestly disregarded all the warnings, but after the 3rd day of having it drilled into me and hearing case after case of how it ruined the lives of staff people, I finally realized that this kind of a downfall is definitely worth being alert to and avoiding at all costs.

So very different than what I've been used to in my past client interactions. I mean, we aren't even supposed to let them know our first name! Much less anything else about us. I will have to be very careful. Maybe that's partly why I've had 8 months of no patient interaction, so I'd get out of the "being their friend" mode.

Well, I guess I'll keep my blog name Midwife Musings for now, although it doesn't seem too appropriate. I will continue to maintain all CNM credentials for now and keep my eyes and ears open to any opportunities as a CNM. But for this season, I am working PRN as a sometimes ARNP and sometimes RN (depending on their needs) at the clinic at TCF. It is good to be back out in the community, filling a need for both the clinic and the women "doing time", using the skills that I'm sure have gotten a little rusty (tomorrow is pap day at the clinic, yeeha!). Not to mention earning income again! Feeling very grateful for the opportunity, after spending so much time on "pause"