Back From Captivity

I just finished reading the New Year's letter (always hand written, just to me) from Calley, who faithfully sends this annual keep in touch gesture, along with a picture of her family, including the 3 girls that I "delivered". What a blessing her words of affirmation have been to me over the years I was her midwife (she says "to me, you will always be my midwife") and even now, when I'm not anyone's midwife! So, Calley, thanks for the card and thanks for caring about me enough to read my blog!

Calley encouraged me to update my blog to catch her up on my precious grandchildren. I am still watching them 1 day per week while Shayla works as an accountant. The kids are getting to be a lot of fun, and lately I have been trying to write down all the cute things Ashy says-what his mom calls "Ashtonisms". Ashy likes to play mommy and daddy with me, saying that Sadie can be our baby. One of my Christmas gifts to each of them was a waterbaby and homemade carrying sling. Since they both seem to want to play with the same toy at the same time, this seemed like a good idea. Turns out, Ashton was much more excited than his sister was, saying "My own baby!" when he opened his gift. He put the gekko covered flannel sling on, put his baby in it, and proceeded to wear his baby for the rest of gift opening festivities, then took her to bed with him at naptime. I don't think Sadie even knows she has a baby/sling combo yet. Maybe I'll regift it to her on her birthday!

I refer Calley to Shayla's blog for details on the kids. I am grateful for the time I've had to be with them. I have had a sense these past couple of weeks that I may be working again as a CNM before too long. Just some things I've been reading in my quiet time have seemed to be leading me to believe that is what God is doing. I know he is always at work, behind the scenes, working circumstances out for our good, and I'm just having a feeling that he is preparing to bring me back into a job where I can use my midwifery skills again. Which would be a good thing. I have often felt such a lack of confidence in my current role and have longed for work that is familiar again. And yet, this time has been such a great time of growing closer to God, reading and memorizing scripture and seeing how God's word really is "alive and active in me" as Beth Moore says. God has graciously provided a job with great hours (no nights, no call, time with the grandkids) and great pay, which has helped us catch up from 8 months of being unemployed. So, it is with some wistfulness that I realize these hours may come to an end IF God is opening a door for me to be a midwife again. Jeremiah 29:11-14 are verses that I have felt God speaking to me personally during this journey over the past year. As I have called upon him and sought him, I have found him. "I will be found by you", declares the Lord, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you", declares the Lord, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile." Midwifery is the place from which God carried me into exile, and my current job is the place God banished me to for a period of time so that I would seek him. I am so grateful for that! It is amazing to me how I really don't care if he ever brings me back into midwifery, because it is not what I long for anymore. I have found that as I sought God and found him, I am totally satisfied. It doesn't matter where I'm at or what I'm doing.

Well, I really need to get to bed as I have an early morning and long day with my precious grandbabies tomorrow!