Saturday in the Park, I Think It Was the 4th of July
On the 4th of July we decided at the last minute to take the boat over to Lake Shawnee for the "Go 4th" fireworks display and watch from the water instead of walking to the grassy lakeside like we usually do. I'm pretty sure it was the realization that this will likely be our last 4th of July in this home (18 years) and although we've always thought about doing it, we've always opted for the "easy" way. We all 3 realized that we don't want to move from here without doing something that we'd always talked of doing but hadn't "bothered" to do. Aaron, Shay and the kids met us over at the dock. It wasn't as much trouble as I'd thought it would be, with no wait to launch the boat and minimal wait time to take it out afterwards, although there were probably 30-40 boats. Everyone was very courteous and patient, giving me a real sense of community and making me "proud to be an American".
We were on the water for about an hour before fireworks started. The night was breezy and cool and right at 10pm started lightly raining. The kids were in jammies and tired and cranky during the wait. The rain stopped within 5 minutes (right after I prayed that it would, actually) and the display began. It was the first time we'd had the radio with us to listen to the synchronized music and it made it so much better. It was a glorious view and was just amazing to look around and see how the fireworks lit up the water and other boats as well as the sky.
After it was over and we were slowly making our way over to the boat ramp, I was cuddling with Ashy in the backseat and asked him if he thought he'd always remember seeing the fireworks from the boat. He said yes then asked if we could do this again next 4th of July. Lump in the throat. As I told him, "We'll have to wait and see", I realized this has always been true. The awareness of an upcoming move makes all of our futures FEEL so uncertain. However, I realized we should always be living life as if this might be the last time. Last time to do all those things we would like to do but put it off, thinking there will always be another chance. In a way, this must be in a small way what a dying person feels. If I KNEW I was going to die within a few weeks or months, I think I might live more intentionally. So, just b/c I know I will be moving in the next year, it makes me want to cherish all the blessings of NOW.
We were on the water for about an hour before fireworks started. The night was breezy and cool and right at 10pm started lightly raining. The kids were in jammies and tired and cranky during the wait. The rain stopped within 5 minutes (right after I prayed that it would, actually) and the display began. It was the first time we'd had the radio with us to listen to the synchronized music and it made it so much better. It was a glorious view and was just amazing to look around and see how the fireworks lit up the water and other boats as well as the sky.
After it was over and we were slowly making our way over to the boat ramp, I was cuddling with Ashy in the backseat and asked him if he thought he'd always remember seeing the fireworks from the boat. He said yes then asked if we could do this again next 4th of July. Lump in the throat. As I told him, "We'll have to wait and see", I realized this has always been true. The awareness of an upcoming move makes all of our futures FEEL so uncertain. However, I realized we should always be living life as if this might be the last time. Last time to do all those things we would like to do but put it off, thinking there will always be another chance. In a way, this must be in a small way what a dying person feels. If I KNEW I was going to die within a few weeks or months, I think I might live more intentionally. So, just b/c I know I will be moving in the next year, it makes me want to cherish all the blessings of NOW.
posted by kirsten | 8:04 PM
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