"Hey, Nanny, I have an idea"

Driving home in the rain this morning from a garage sale with my 2 grandchildren in the backseat, Ashton chirped up with his most common declaration of late: "Hey, I have an idea." This time when I inquired as to what it was, he said,"When I grow up to be a man, I can put my lawn mower on a trailer and Drampa and me can mow your drass for you, Nanny, when I grow up." I don't know where that idea came from, but I thought it was a gem and told him I think that will be so nice of him.


Ashy turned 3 last month and I love that boy so. I was so sad this morning when he forced me to "be in charge" by challenging my authority and refusing to obey my command to stop sitting on his sister's head. I sternly swatted his behind (after first warning him it was coming and he challenged me yet again) and sat him down for a time out. It was the first time I've had to really discipline him and it nearly broke my heart to see the look of shame and hurt on his face. But I know that if I am the childcare provider (not just the Nanny) I must discipline to teach him what's best for him. I hope he can still see that I am the Nanny that he knows loves him beyond words.

On a totally different note, I have been unemployed for nearly 2 months now and how nearly gone through the gamut of CNM possibilites within a 60 mile radius. I've had several interviews, 1 painful rejection of a job I thought I really wanted, a few offers for jobs I don't want, and a couple of possibilities of what seem like "so-so" opportunities. I'm determined to wait until I feel God is saying "This is the way, walk in it." So, for now, I am feeling more or less like I may be unemployed for awhile yet. I'm enjoying my free time. I'm really going through a midwife,oops, MIDLIFE crisis. (That wasn't intentional, but I thought true enough.) I don't even know if I will work as a midwife anymore. It's funny how I don't miss it. Maybe all of the stresses of the last 10 years of midwifing have taken a toll and I am burned out. Maybe God has something totally new and different for me now. We shall see. I am determined to "wait upon the Lord" and am praying that He will show me where He wants me when the time is right.

Well, Ashton just woke up from his nap and is here to sit on my lap and snuggle while he gets fully awake. As the country song says, "That's the good stuff."