Midwife Musings

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Location: Sneads Ferry, NC, United States

I am a Certified Nurse Midwife. I am creating this blog as a way to journal my births - for my own personal and professional growth and to share the beauty of normal birth. My faith walk is very much tied up with midwifery. Midwifery has taught me just about everything I've learned about God. Update-now that it's been nearly 2 years since God allowed me to practice as a midwife, I have found that He reveals Himself in MANY ways if we seek Him. And he has been teaching me to seek Him, regardless of what work he calls me to. New update, I've been working as a "real" nurse midwife for a year and this blog has "morphed" into sharing my journey through life, whether it be from home, work, family. LIFE teaches us, not just our life work.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Hind's Feet on High Places

Jerry and I leave at 5 AM tomorrow for Raleigh, NC, where we will rent a car, drive down to Myrtle Beach for the night and then up the coast to Camp LeJeune, NC for a job interview. Then we'll find our hotel, Mariott in Jacksonville and get settled in and hopefully see some of the town before dark thirty. I'll spend the day at job interviw #2. Not sure if I'll be back with the practice on Wed or just checking out the town. Home on Thursday the 2nd.

Very emotional time as I process what all this means not only for me but our entire extended family dynamic. Excited to see what lies ahead, but ambivlent about all the unknowns. This is what I've been hoping, waiting and praying for so is a definite "high place" in my life. ANd yet, as it is here, I find myself wondering if I have the courage to step into it, embrace it. I have shed so many tears over the idea of leaving the kids and grandkids behind to accept what God has next for me. And to try to explain to my daughter my reasons why this is best, even when I KNOW it hurts them as it did me when my folks moved away. I can't find the right words to express what's in my heart. This is something that I have to do to be who I am. I must go where God leads me. I want to go. I just DON'T want to be without those precious precious kids that are so much a part of me. It will be like ripping open a wound every time I think of them and how I can't be with them. But I know that God is calling me to more. I have to entrust to Him my children and grandchildren. I hope and pray this separation season isn't for long, but not my will, but your, be done.

Habakkuk 3:19
The sovereign Lord is my strength
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

More Brotherly Love

At the pool today, Sadie (the fearless water baby) was laying on her tummy on one of the round floating toys and was surrounded by little girls about 4 or 5 years old who were all playing with her. When I told Ashton, "look at Sadie up on that round thing" he nearly sprinted through the hip deep water over to her and said to the girls "hey, she's just little". It was so precious. The girls weren't bothering her and she was in fact relishing the attention, but big brother perceived a potential threat to his baby sister's safety and demonstrated again that he takes his role as the big brother/protector very seriously. So heartwarming.

Sunday, June 07, 2009

Ashton Sleepover June 2009

Last night Ashy had a sleepover, his first since mom and dad went to Mexico 8 weeks ago. He had a wonderful time, although there were glimpses every now and then of sadness at not being with his family. The highlight of his evening was being invited by Staci to take a ride in the jeep "convertible" to the lake. The look of pur joy on his face was priceless. He was just bubbly with joy all evening. After dinner, when Grandpa told him he could go with him to put Staci's jeep in the garage, he was ready to leave the table (dinner unfinished) to go with. Granpa said, "let's stay here and finish our drinks first" Ashy said "I'll finish my drink like Granpa cuz i'm just like Grandpa. I'm just like Grandpa and I love my Staci."
We enjoyed the Little Critter joke book and memorized a few to tell mom and dad.

Friday, June 05, 2009

Say What?

Today was my days with the kids. We went to the Shunga trail per Ashy's request to go for a walk. As soon as we got there,he of course had to go potty. Rather than use the Johny on the Job, which I think is disgusting, I said let's have you go potty beside a tree. He immediately was all over that idea, announcing to me 3 times (I failed to respond since there were other walkers within earshot) that he wanted to go potty on a "fire station" like a doggy. Too cute.