Midwife Musings

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Location: Sneads Ferry, NC, United States

I am a Certified Nurse Midwife. I am creating this blog as a way to journal my births - for my own personal and professional growth and to share the beauty of normal birth. My faith walk is very much tied up with midwifery. Midwifery has taught me just about everything I've learned about God. Update-now that it's been nearly 2 years since God allowed me to practice as a midwife, I have found that He reveals Himself in MANY ways if we seek Him. And he has been teaching me to seek Him, regardless of what work he calls me to. New update, I've been working as a "real" nurse midwife for a year and this blog has "morphed" into sharing my journey through life, whether it be from home, work, family. LIFE teaches us, not just our life work.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

North Carolina, Kansas, Idaho, Texas...

It's been a little over a month since I came home from Jacksonville, NC with job offer, contingent upon meeting all hospital credentialling requirements. These have turned out to be HUGE obstacles. Which I know God can and will move if he wants us there. But it's been a long month of waiting and jumping through hoops. I don't even know how close to the end of this process I am.

I'm leaving tomorrow to pick Jer up from airport, go out to dinner and stay over at Westin Crown Center, where I got us a room for $60! Same place we had first night of our honeymoon 30 years ago. Then Jer will take me to airport next evening. He's been at Hayden, ID for 2 days, after taking 3 days to road trip up with Staci in the Jeep. I'm going up to get away for 10 days as I've been doing a lot of NOTHING around here. Been feeling like I've been side-lined from life and I'm excited about being with my parents and meeting Staci's friend Trever and his family, who have taken a serious liking to her. I'm also planning to go meet Inga Arts, CPM at Dayspring Midwifery Center in Coure de'laine. I am SO ready to be useful again and have just been taking things 1 day at a time since I really have no control over this process (Camp LeJeune). During the process, I have come to the point where I am ready to be used by God WHEREVER he chooses. I'm feeling totally open to going anywhere he sends, even if it's overseas. But I don't think Jerry is there.

Saturday night Ashy had a sleepover with just me before the Bellands left on vacation to Texas on Sunday. We took a picnic to lake Shawnee and ate at a table by the water. We then played at the park before coming home to watch The Incredibles while waiting for the backyard to get dark enough to catch fireflys. 2 precious memories stand out that I want to recall. First, while watching the movie, Ashy matter of factly explained to me that Mrs Incredible (stretch girl, I think) was pregnant, "but hims not ready to be born yet. the baby is in her U-terus and God is still makin his bones." I had earlier in the evening explained that preborn babies grow in their mothers uterus, not tummy and he apparantly remembered!

The other precious memory is just the mental picture I have of his little body reaching up to his full height as his outstretched arms were poised high above him to catch a firefly. He was so intent on chasing them down, and amazingly good at it too, as he captured dozens before tiring of the activity.

The following morning and again after church he told me that he wants to stay with me all day and invited me to come home with him, pleading with me to stay until after his nap. Isn't the love and adoration of a child an amazing thing? I am constantly reminded that this is all God wants from us, his beloved children. He just wants us to desire his company the way our grandchildren desire ours. And, praise God, this is becoming reality for me. As everything else has been stripped away and he remains, his promises to never leave me or fail me are so much more precious. He is showing me that he really is all I need. Everything that can be shaken will be, just as he spoke to me at N. Myrtle Beach on 6/28. Haggai 2:6-9
"This is what the Lord Almighty says: In a little while I will once more shake the heavens and the earth, the sea and the dry land. I will shake all nations, and the desired of all nations will come, and I will fill this house with glory, says the Lord Almighty. The silver is mine and the gold is mine, declares the Lord Almighty. The glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house, says the Lord Almight. And in this place I will grant peace, declares the Lord Almighty." This is the passage of scripture from my devotional reading that I read AFTER walking on the beach praying nothing but that God would speak to me, to let me know that He would lead me and to please show himself. I had to laugh when I saw how many times the passage repeated that God was speaking!

Favorite verse this week: Isiah 30:18 "Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you. He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!" Wow