My Help Comes From the LORD, The Maker of Heaven and Earth
I can't believe it, but it's now been 4 1/2 months since I was employed. If I had known this the first week of February, I would have been terrified! But it is amazing how we have managed to get by. I do hope that my nursing license application for Missouri is approved this week so that I can get to work. However, I have really identified with the apostle Paul over these past months, as I DO believe that there is no explanation for what I've gone through other than persecution. Persecution from systems that are powerful enough to keep a nurse midwife from being able to find work as a nurse midwife. I really dont' think I would have ever had a homebirth practice way back when if I'd had any idea this would be the consequence of going against the medical (and nursing) establishment.
Of course, I may not have become a nurse midwife in the first place has I not gone ahead of God's leading. I was being led to midwifery, but looking back now, I see that I didn't wait for His timing or instruction about HOW to persue midwifery. I just did what I usually do, take control. If I had waited for his leading, I would probably have learned that CPM was the best route for me and I would have saved $30,000 (not borrowed it, that is. now THERE's a clue!) It would have also allowed me to pratice the style of midwifery I loved without igniting the indignant sensibilities of the medical establishment. Oh well, that is water under the bridge. No sense crying over spilled milk, etc. But I CAN learn from that the importance of WAITING for clear direction. It is hard to wait, but maybe not as hard as enduring the consequences of NOT waiting.
I'm certainly getting a lot of experience in learning to trust in the Lord and wait on his timing. I really don't know if I will ever be able to work as a nurse midwife again. If not, I haven't figured out what else my ministry might be. I do know that I still have a passion and desire to midwife mothers and babies, and this is where I am gifted. I do believe God will open the doors for me to use this gift somewhere and timetime, if not during this season. I've always had an inclination that I will someday be providing maternity care where it is desperately needed and where I could freely practice and do good without fear of licensing boards waiting to shut me down. I guess that means a third world country.
I have enjoyed being home to be with Ashton and Sadie several times per week. They are precious to me and it is wonderful to be so close to them. And I am taking my first Beth Moore Bible study, Stepping Up, in several years. It is a study of Psalms and it has proven to be as helpful and full of the hope I'm needing right now as I thought it would be. It is so wonderful during times of great trial, that for those who have put their faith in the saving blood of Jesus, to be reminded that this life is SO TEMPORARY. So temporal. SO NOT ALL I HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO! I am just passing through on my way to my REAL life!
Staci has just completed her 3rd week of 8 in Jacksonville, FL on a Navigators summer training experience. I am so happy that she is happy and hasn't seemed to be homesick. She's found a job with other teammates at Adventure Landing, she's enjoying making some new friends, she's getting to be near the ocean, she's growing closer to God,and she just called today to report that she has seen the last of her financial need for the summer met! I am so thankful that she is there, doing this project.
Of course, I may not have become a nurse midwife in the first place has I not gone ahead of God's leading. I was being led to midwifery, but looking back now, I see that I didn't wait for His timing or instruction about HOW to persue midwifery. I just did what I usually do, take control. If I had waited for his leading, I would probably have learned that CPM was the best route for me and I would have saved $30,000 (not borrowed it, that is. now THERE's a clue!) It would have also allowed me to pratice the style of midwifery I loved without igniting the indignant sensibilities of the medical establishment. Oh well, that is water under the bridge. No sense crying over spilled milk, etc. But I CAN learn from that the importance of WAITING for clear direction. It is hard to wait, but maybe not as hard as enduring the consequences of NOT waiting.
I'm certainly getting a lot of experience in learning to trust in the Lord and wait on his timing. I really don't know if I will ever be able to work as a nurse midwife again. If not, I haven't figured out what else my ministry might be. I do know that I still have a passion and desire to midwife mothers and babies, and this is where I am gifted. I do believe God will open the doors for me to use this gift somewhere and timetime, if not during this season. I've always had an inclination that I will someday be providing maternity care where it is desperately needed and where I could freely practice and do good without fear of licensing boards waiting to shut me down. I guess that means a third world country.
I have enjoyed being home to be with Ashton and Sadie several times per week. They are precious to me and it is wonderful to be so close to them. And I am taking my first Beth Moore Bible study, Stepping Up, in several years. It is a study of Psalms and it has proven to be as helpful and full of the hope I'm needing right now as I thought it would be. It is so wonderful during times of great trial, that for those who have put their faith in the saving blood of Jesus, to be reminded that this life is SO TEMPORARY. So temporal. SO NOT ALL I HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO! I am just passing through on my way to my REAL life!
Staci has just completed her 3rd week of 8 in Jacksonville, FL on a Navigators summer training experience. I am so happy that she is happy and hasn't seemed to be homesick. She's found a job with other teammates at Adventure Landing, she's enjoying making some new friends, she's getting to be near the ocean, she's growing closer to God,and she just called today to report that she has seen the last of her financial need for the summer met! I am so thankful that she is there, doing this project.
posted by kirsten | 8:05 PM
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