Death by Primip

SB called at about 10:30 AM on 8/21 to report she'd been having contractions every 10" since 7:30 AM when she woke up. She said they hurt more than the BH UCs she'd been having and was planning to go home from work to rest. I offered to see her if she wanted. She and J. came by that afternoon for an exam and reported that UCs were every 7-8 minutes. She was 3cms dilated. I encouraged her to rest and sleep if she could that night since things were moving slowly. At 8pm, UCs were still q7-8 so I advised Benadryl and sleep.

J. called next morning at 8:00 and said she hadn't slept well at all cuz of UCs all night, still q7". Now having nausea and vomited 1x. I said she MUST drink and get some calories to have the energy required for labor, and that I would come check on her after my morning clients.

Anita and I arrived at their home at 12:45 to find SB resting but tearful: "I'm so tired of being in labor" Her UCs were q5-7". She was 5 cms dilated and still struggling with nausea, although she had kept down a donut and Mountain Dew. J's mom met us at the door with the announcement that she had expected to see us the night before when she arrived. I have been accused of thinking I know what people are thinking, and this time I thought she was thinking I SHOULD have been there the night before. Oh well, I explained that we don't come until client is in active labor.

We spent the afternoon trying to get SB hydrated and labor progressing better. She really was a trooper - trying to appease us, but usually throwing up several minutes after drinking and/or eating. I suggested an IV. She would have complied, but Anita pointed out that she was progressing (slowly) and mom and baby vital signs were fine. She hates IVs, and I hate trying to start them since I don't get enough practice to be good at it anymore, so it was pretty easy to talk me out of it. At 5:30 Anita and I left to go eat a nice sit down dinner at Texas Roadhouse while SB and J. were to try to stir things up with intimacy and rest. We suggested to J's mom and SB's sister and fiance that they go eat so S and J could rest, but I think they thought (there I go again) we were CRAZY for leaving.
By the time we got back to the house, we now had another person in the "waiting" room. SBs mom was there and unable (or unwilling) to hide her great displeasure with the whole thing. Even though I told her mom and baby were doing fine, she said it was taking too long. I didn't venture downstairs anymore as I felt palpable hostility.

At 7PM when we returned to find J. sawing logs and S. quietly and calmly laboring away. She announced that she couldn't do this for much longer. She was 7-8 cms. now. Her water broke at 8:43 PM with clear fluid and baby was doing great. We were sure she would start feeling pushy soon. However, had we considered the fact that it had taken 36 hours to dilate 8 cms, we could have done the math and figured we still had about 9 hours to go. By 11pm, Anita told me she needed someone to encourage her since she was starting to doubt that we would have a baby at home. We prayed for a homebirth, for all of our sakes. For me, because of my fear of persecution by the medical community if I went to the hospital. I could just seeing someone reporting me for providing care that was below the "standard" such as 2 days of labor, use of herbs to augment labor, alternative GBS prophylaxis, etc. Anita begged for a homebirth so she could get her "numbers" done and finish her educational program. Having cast our own cares on Him, we started praying for safety and protection for mom and baby, energy and strengthh for SB, that the enemy would be bound and we would feel no fear, that we would have wisdom and discernment, that God would show His glory by delivering the baby without hospital helps so that all of the doubting people downstairs would see that birth works. Anita also prayed that if we had to stay into the wee hours of the morning, that we would have patience and stamnia. It took me several seconds to get on board with that request. I did not WANT to stay into the wee hours.

THen with renewed confidence, we went and checked SB and found her to be completely dilated, even though she wasn't feeling like pushing. We coached her through about an hour of pushing with very little progress and then noticed that she still have a cervial lip. ANita suggested some tricks to reduce the lip.
By this time it was 12:30 on 8/23 and I knew that SB needed some sleep to be able to finish the job. I suggested taking Stadol and sleeping for an hour or 2 and waiting to push until she just HAD to push. She agreed and after giving her a shot of Stadol, it was lights out and we all went to lie down and try to sleep. I knew Anita hated using STadol and doubted the wisdom of it, but I was certain that this was a prudent intervention. I don't usually feel so confident, but I knew that I have many more years (and numbers of births) to draw on. I'd seen Stadol work wonders in this situation before so I wasn't willing to be talked out of it. The family members kept vigil on the stairs, crying and taking turns going in and out of the house, opening and closing the noisy front door.

At 2:00 AM, J. came and told us that SB felt like she had to push. She was complete this time. She made steady progress and delivered her baby girl at 3:11 AM. Baby was great, mom didn't hemorrhage (which I was prepared for due to the LONG labor) and all was well. After cleanup and some nursing, family was invited upstairs to admire the baby and take pictures. Never did any of them make eye contact with Anita or I or offer a word of thanks. Not that we really cared. We were on cloud 9 to see our prayers all answered and to be heading home after a long labor that didn't end in transport!

On the way home, I assured Anita that I don't have any more Primips until January, so the rest of the year should be easier.

Baby Goes to College

My baby is officially "on her own" as of last Thursday. She and her sister went over to KSU in the morning to get familiar with the campus and Jerry, Ashton and I met up with them after Staci's job orientation. After we hauled her stuff up to her dorm room, and hauled some back to the car since it didn't fit on the very limited floor space, we went out for dinner at Famous Daves. Then back to West Hall to watch her put her stuff away and procrastinate saying goodbye. When we did say a quick tearful goodbye, the 4 of us went down to the car and as we strapped Ashton into his carseat he said "Staci, Staci?"

I might not have wept if not for that innocent question that implied "Aren't we missing/forgetting Staci?"

I don't know how to describe these feelings, but probably will always remember them regardless. The summer has been bittersweet, with all of us knowing that the day would come when she would be at college and our family dynamics would be forever changed. We will all miss the familiar times hanging out together, playing Phase 10, eating dinner, watching a movie, boating, working out at the gym, playing tennis, having lunch with Gram or going to their house for dinner. Just the day to day stuff of family life. I even miss having her by my side to do dishes together - often my time to catch up on what's going on in her world. And I know that if I am missing sharing all of these things with her, she will feel all of that and so much more, since she is in a new environment, getting used to all new people and places and responsibilities. But I know she's up for it. Deep inside I know that she will be OK. She has always been a homebody, but she likes to have people to go and do things with. And she has amazed me the past 2 years of high school with her social skills. I know she will take advantage of the many social "offerings" of college life. So she will find a new familiar and be happy. And while that is my desire for her, it feels so strange to be able to let go of the past so that she can reach for the future. Well, I guess that's her job. Mine is just to support her and encourage her in letting go and reaching. And truely, I am excited to see what is next for her. I know that just as soon as I can get my mind around the idea of her leaving the nest, I will enjoy watching her soar.

I am thankful for the prayer time we had the night before she left home. How sweet to hear Shayla pouring out her heart's desire for her baby sister. That she would become the woman God wants her to be. That God would protect her from the "bad boys" and even praying for Staci's future husband's purity. My prayer was for her and Savannah to really hit it off and be good for each other - that they would have a great friendship and help each other be accountable. I also pray that as Staci enters the college classes that are taught from a secular worldview, she will be wise to recognize those ideas that may not be truth. That she will be on guard and discerning. That the challenge will strengthen her faith and knowledge of God's word, rather than destroy it.

Today was her first day of classes and the job in "The Derb" working on the trayline. When we last spoke yesterday, I asked her if I should call again or let her. She (tearfully, I think) suggested that I let her get settled and she would call. So, that's good. I am so proud of her.

And boy am I thankful that Shay's family is living here and we have each other through this transition.