Happy Birth day To a New Mom and her daughter

I attended a most amazing birth in the wee hours this morning. BC transferred prenatal care to our center 4 weeks before her due date, driving over an hour each way, so that she could have the birth she desired. She had been receiving care from a female OB and planning a hospital birth but was getting uneasy about being able to have a natural birth with that arrangement. So she came to visit the birth center, liked what she saw, and changed her plan to deliver her baby at the birth center. Her husband was nervous about the change but supportive of her desires.
While BC received a prenatal massage last week, he was set up to watch some videos of midwife attended births so he could get a feel for the "normalcy" and lack of fear surrounding the midwifery model of care at a birth. I hope that helped him. But whether or not he was completely on board with the plan, and despite being due any day, and the long drive she had to come, BC made the decision that her instincts told her to make.

She arrived at the center in active labor at 12:30 AM and was totally coping and going with the flow, tuned into her body's cues and laboring silently and peacefully. I was blown away that she was 6 cms already. Into the birth tub she went. She was laboring like a pro, 100% focused on the task before her. She was beautiful and in the "zone" as she slipped into the water. I instantly felt like an intruder in a very intimate and private situation. She didn't need me. I told NC to come get me if they needed anything and left to go to the midwife's office. Less than 2 hours later, she silently, peacefuly and gently delivered her baby into my waiting hands. She was standing, leaning on the bed for support, with NC at her side. Never did this woman utter a word to indicate despair, pain or fear. She exuded such an air of confidence in her ability to birth her baby. As a wise counselor once told me "you ARE what you BELIEVE". It was never so apparant than in this situation. She believed she was up to the task and she did it with such excellence. She birthed her baby her way - with no induction, no IV, no drugs, no episiotomy, no tears or stitches, no one in the room except she and her man and the midwife and nurse.

Now for the most amazing part-the woman who made the decision to switch health care providers at 36 weeks to deliver at a center over an hour away is only 19 years old. One rarely sees that kind of courage or confidence in much older, "wiser", more experienced women.

I have no idea what foundation BC has that has enabled her to believe the way she did, but as a Christian, it makes me think of I Timothy 10-12: "and for this we labor and strive, that we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all men, especially of those who believe....Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."

Miracles Happen

FINALLY! My 7 week long birth hiatus ended last night with a glorious birth! BH called at 1:53 to report contractions every 15" for the last 1 1/2 hour. Since this is her 3rd baby, we arranged to meet at the birth center. My prayer enroute was that God would give me a clear mind and all present would have his peace and that He would be glorified. I immediately got nervous because if He is going to be glorified, that means that there will probably be some circumstance that will be challenging. Or scary. It means that He will show his power and do something I couldn't do in order to receive the glory. Which is why I was not surprised when upon our arrival at the center I found mom to be 8cms dilated and in very active labor. Too active for me to leave her side. And a fetal heart rate of 100 beats per minute. And it stayed that way for the several minutes I listened, hoping to hear an increase after a minute or 2. I called the RN to come in, fully expecting that God would be my only other birth attendant. Of course, there is no more qualified birth attendant!

I was reminded of the analogy of the cooler that a nursing student had shared with me that week: There was once a 3 year old boy and his father, preparing supplies to go on a family campout. Once the cooler was full of food and ice, the father enlisted the help of his son to carry the cooler to the car. While the boy lifted his corner, using all of his might, the father carried the full load of the cooler. That is like what God does in his work in the world. He is the one with all of the strength and we are so weak. But he invites us to join Him in the work He is doing, allowing us the joy of participating and of knowing that we made a difference. God may not show up and show His power if we think we can carry the load alone. It is very dangerous ground to be on if we think it is our strength or wisdom or skill that will get the job done. I love the way that every birth serves as a reminder of this. It is such an awesome mystery and what a priviledge to witness the miracle time and again. Midwifing would in fact, be too scary to do if I did it alone. I have seen so many things that can "go wrong" and yet, those are the very things that God uses to show his glory! I'm so glad when I don't miss it. When I am able to trust in His care.

Anyway, BH delivered her baby girl 10 minutes after my RN assistant arrived. Despite the continued heartrate that was "non reassuring" but not ominous, during the 40 minutes she was there in labor, baby came out screaming and pink . Apgar scores of 9 and 10. And a true knot in her umbilical cord. Hmm, that explains the heartrate. But there really is no explanation for that baby being alive and healthy. Other than God chose to bless us, preserve that baby's life, and show His glory. As I showed the mom the placenta and cord and explained the significance of the knot in the cord, I was able to tell her that God was protecting her baby and that she is blessed to have her. And I pointed out that, as my t-shirt said, Miracles Happen. I don't think BH knows Jesus, but I hope that her miracle baby planted a seed.

Had BH had an ultrasound that detected the knot in the cord, she would have likely spent weeks on bedrest in the hospital with a fetal monitor and a c-section would have been done at the first sign of "non-reassuring" fetal heart tones. This is the way western medicine tries to control the mysteries of birth and tries to manipulate circumstances to "guarantee" a good outcome. Which is foolishness. We can guarantee no such thing. In fact, the meddling usually just creates more problems. But when we meddle and think we can do God's work (determining the outcome) we remove the possibility of the moms seeing God at work.

I am psyched to be back in the saddle again after a long, dry stretch. Even though my heart was pounding minutes before that baby was born, the rush of excitement and sheer pleasure of what I witnessed was worth it! What an amazing job. And to think I get PAID to do this!

Tribute to Willie

This weekend Willie will go to live at a new house - that is the way we explained it to Ashton. He has been a faithful guard dog, walking companion (OK, walking nemesis) and otherwise "here if you need me" kind of dog. I'm sorry to say, I never really did. I didn't allow myself to. Need him, that is. I know that isn't "right". A person isn't supposed to live with a dog for 13 years and not "need" him, I don't think.

Blame it on my parents- that's what I'm doing right now. According to "How We Love", a book I'm reading by Milan & Kay Yerkovich, it's all because I grew up without knowing how to give and receive comfort. Now as an adult, I am struggling to learn it. It's pretty basic to relationships and I'm thinking I'm onto something big here, but that's another story.

With the girls grown and away from home, Willie is more of a chore to us than anything else. Well, I think Jerry has more of a connection with him than I do. But nevertheless, he is willing to part with him. We want to do some backyard landscaping and it's pointless as long as there's a dog there. So after much email searching, I have found what I hope is a good home for him. Hopefully, one where he will give and receive an abundance of love.

Even without ever really opening my heart to fall in love with Willie, I must admit that it pains me to see him go. He has been a faithful friend to Staci especially, and even now Ashton knows him and is starting to love him. I know I will miss his presence when I go out the back door, his friendly tail wagging greeting and wet lick on the hand. I'll miss seeing him run around the yard like crazy just because someone has joined him. I'll miss seeing him dash up the street in the fresh snow, or just "chillin'" in his kingdom, with his head resting on his tree stump. I'll miss seeing him chase behind our Passport which is pulling Staci on the purple tobaggan in an among the trees in the backyard. And it will be really hard when Ashy asks about him and the bedtime ritual he shares with his Bampa of throwing bites of hotdog in the air for Willie to catch before he is tucked into bed for the night in the safety of our garage.

If these memories are enough to make me cry, I am so sorry for my daughters and husband, who are now having the sorrow of saying goodbye to a beloved friend and confidante. One consolation, as Jerry said the other day, at least it is easier to say goodbye before he is dead. It's even harder to lay a dog to rest. But this is almost as bad. It is goodbye, nonetheless. Please God, give Willie a happy life with Kathleen and her son. Let his days be filled with doggie joys!

OK, so now Jerry and I are actually reconsidering our decision. Maybe we should just let him live out his days he has left here, where he is comfortable. Maybe we could "corral" him in the far back yard so we could do our landscaping and he wouldn't disturb it. It would definitely cramp his style, but probably not as much as sending him away would. Well, we have 24 hours to think about it.